


Tendrils

by akumaru



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akumaru/pseuds/akumaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet. Balthazar is lost since day one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tendrils

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first work in AO3 and also my first work in english since my main language is spanish. Please, tell me if I need to edit something ;-;

He's lost. Since the very first moment their existences blend together, and their eyes, if even there are any eyes, lay over him, through the wings hiding his face; he acknowledges every little fragment of his Grace, he acknowledges it in the air, feels it vibrating around the filaments of his own skin, electrifying each inch of his body, along his wings, and he knows he is so lost. They are identical beings, soldiers created to serve God without free will, programmed to feel nothing, to wish nothing for themselves, and even then Balthazar is lost, and Castiel, armed from the beginning Castiel, up straight Castiel, is the infinite ocean in which he would drown himself to death.

They fight together, they fall together, they heal each other wounds, always in silence, eternal tendrils of electricity and Grace dancing along their spines, of each one of their wings mixing together in the bottom of the abyss, and Balthazar, even when he's in the middle of the war, swimming between blood and battle cries, thinks it's okay. That he could live forever like this, if only Castiel stays by his side, just like this.

Just like this.

And then Castiel is not there anymore. Balthazar knows the orders, he knows where his little Castiel's gone, Cassie, the most innocent among the Nine Choirs of Angels, and first nothing happens, because he knows Castiel will fulfill his responsabilities, and sooner than later -because what's time for an eternal creature like they are?- he will be back, -and they will be them again-. So he waits, and waits, and steals the Angelic Weapons and runs to the Earth, and he knows Castiel will never return because the blinks of time keeps running and Castiel is not his anymore. Castiel, who believes him dead, has met somebody else and has left him behind.

It's hard to explain how he feels when their eyes meet again. It's very hard to explain the whirlwind of feelings overwhelming him like that, the look in Castiel's eyes -eyes that are Castiel's as much as his is the body Balthazar is wearing-, the joy that pass through the both of them, mostly through him, although he hides it well behind his wings, wings that are bent back upon the back of the animal he inhabits. It's so hard to explain what happens next, everything rushing to the bottom, and how his hands and the bones in his wings breaks trying to prevent things to happen; how he can see him farther and farther away, increasingly blind, increasingly deaf.

I love you, he shouts. I love you, I love you, but his real voice can't reach him; Castiel is lost in a buzz that is not his, and for the first time Balthazar knows he won't be able to reach him. That Castiel has long ceased to belong to him.

That maybe it was never like that.


End file.
